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Monday, March 18, 2013


Dunkin' Donuts.

Really. I am not kidding here.

The truth is, all great civilizations are so called great because of their high ouput of creativity - arts, literatures, architectures, etc. They have the leisure time to engange in creative works. And one thing is very clear here, to keep the creative juices flowing, caffeine is needed. Yes it is.

All the artisans, writers, poets, musicians, craftsmen, architects are dependant on good quality caffeine. Not only good quality, but also huge intake of it. Caffeine helps them steer clear of frequently happening 'blank walls'. Caffeine sparks their brain to life. As a result, so many of us enjoy and marvel at their works.

Caffeine is the lifeblood of creativity. It is pretty simple :

Good coffee --> higher creativity --> more artistic output --> richer culture --> greater civilization.

Now, I know I am not a coffee con..nois..seur, nor a coffee aficionado, nor a coffee lover, nor a coffee purveyor. I know I am a caffeine addict, a junkie. But I do know the difference between bad coffee and good coffee.

The trouble is, Dunkin Donuts's coffee does not belong to the two groups. Because it is the worst coffee I have ever tasted. The absolute worst, in the history of coffee, and in the short history of mankind. My brain simply stopped functioning. The juice ran dry. As dry as the atacama desert.

The taste... or tastelessness of it is simply... pornographic. The level of tastelessness is like watching the beer bellied moronic Jeremy Clarkson of TopGear going naked for a full show. Or Chua Soi Lek starring in another DVD. It is...repulsive.

100% DUNKIN'? More like 100% DUMBER!

America Runs On Dunkin'? Now that explains why there is so many dumb politicians hence dumb policies in america. This is great news actually for all american rivals - we are witnessing firsthand the dumbing down of America by Dunkin Donuts.

You see, the coffee produced by Dunkin Donuts is so bad that it kills your brain. No amount of artistry can possibly come out from this type of dead brain. No. It certainly can't be. Plainly, Dunkin Donuts coffee is a creativity killer.

A civilization that allow its people to drink coffee brewed by Dunkin Donuts is risking a slow, painfully agonizing deaths. No creative works will come out. No more great paintings, no more marvelous architecture, no more beautiful music, no more emotionally stirring poems and novels - an artless, empty, zombie filled civilization.

For this reason, guys, don't drink coffee by Dunkin' Donuts.

Just don't.

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